9-29-2005
Another mainstream blogging referrence- Rory on "Gilmore Girls" discussing her blogs with her Yalie friends. What, you say, is a chauvanistically porcine reprobate such as myself doing watching "Gilmore Girls"? Getting in touch with my oft-neglected feminine side? Maybe trying to find stages of latency that I missed as I rushed through puberty. I hardened into a fairly rigid heterosexuality (unintentional pun) very early on, and sometimes I feel I might have missed something.
The main topic for today is "fear". What brings this to my mind is (1)that I'm having my throat slit open today and (2) some class discussion that irked me way back during Week II. Firstly, My operation (thyroid) looks a lot more dangerous than it is, even though if I could somehow stay awake during anesthesia and wield the scalpel myself I'd probably feel better about it (control, I love it!). The second area I will discuss is my lack of patience for bloggers who "fear" the risk of self-exposure to the point of insisting on maintaining anonymity on their blog. More later, although this may tick off some of my classmates.
For some reason, I have never never felt the kind of personalized fear that I've seen in people around me. I've never feared personal pain , bodily injury, or even death for that matter. This has caused me to miss some life experiences, such as carnival ride "thrills" and shivering deliciously at horror movies. It has also led to some behavior which might be considered less than prudent, such as voluntarily jumping out of a perfectly safe flying vehicle into 2000 feet of air with only a piece of silk on my back between me and a gory landing. This personality trait (defect?) has gotten me arrested for driving my new GTO 150 mph plus on a Nevada flats straightaway and ,20 years later, going even faster in my new Mercedes turbo on,God help, I-91 here in Connecticut. This behavior has been mistaken for bravery. As an army officer on a semi-covert mission in Macedonia I kept cool when an opposing courrier military bodyguard drew his weapon on my superior officer , I being the only one there with the presence of mind to shoot him. Guilt, Ifelt -fear, not. I was praised for my "bravery". Wrong. Brave can't exist without fear.
What does scare the bejeezus out of me is projected empathetic fear for the people around me . My pathologically protective streak extends to my wife, my kids , my grandkids, my friends, my extended family,and (I'm told) to approximately a third of the world's population. I have to stop, I'm late for the hospital. I'll finish later.
Another mainstream blogging referrence- Rory on "Gilmore Girls" discussing her blogs with her Yalie friends. What, you say, is a chauvanistically porcine reprobate such as myself doing watching "Gilmore Girls"? Getting in touch with my oft-neglected feminine side? Maybe trying to find stages of latency that I missed as I rushed through puberty. I hardened into a fairly rigid heterosexuality (unintentional pun) very early on, and sometimes I feel I might have missed something.
The main topic for today is "fear". What brings this to my mind is (1)that I'm having my throat slit open today and (2) some class discussion that irked me way back during Week II. Firstly, My operation (thyroid) looks a lot more dangerous than it is, even though if I could somehow stay awake during anesthesia and wield the scalpel myself I'd probably feel better about it (control, I love it!). The second area I will discuss is my lack of patience for bloggers who "fear" the risk of self-exposure to the point of insisting on maintaining anonymity on their blog. More later, although this may tick off some of my classmates.
For some reason, I have never never felt the kind of personalized fear that I've seen in people around me. I've never feared personal pain , bodily injury, or even death for that matter. This has caused me to miss some life experiences, such as carnival ride "thrills" and shivering deliciously at horror movies. It has also led to some behavior which might be considered less than prudent, such as voluntarily jumping out of a perfectly safe flying vehicle into 2000 feet of air with only a piece of silk on my back between me and a gory landing. This personality trait (defect?) has gotten me arrested for driving my new GTO 150 mph plus on a Nevada flats straightaway and ,20 years later, going even faster in my new Mercedes turbo on,God help, I-91 here in Connecticut. This behavior has been mistaken for bravery. As an army officer on a semi-covert mission in Macedonia I kept cool when an opposing courrier military bodyguard drew his weapon on my superior officer , I being the only one there with the presence of mind to shoot him. Guilt, Ifelt -fear, not. I was praised for my "bravery". Wrong. Brave can't exist without fear.
What does scare the bejeezus out of me is projected empathetic fear for the people around me . My pathologically protective streak extends to my wife, my kids , my grandkids, my friends, my extended family,and (I'm told) to approximately a third of the world's population. I have to stop, I'm late for the hospital. I'll finish later.
posted by Papa Bill | 5:32 AM
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