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Location: Cheshire, Connecticut, United States

devilishly handsome, screamingly funny, overly modest

Monday, July 31, 2006

Porn and Politics

Many of you will think it's a stretch to make the allegory that's upcoming, but that's because you obviously don't take your porn seriously enough, or your politics, or both. I know I do.

As I was surfing movie channels at around 11:00, I happened to alight upon a very peculiar bit of tape on TMC. It was clearly an attempt at pornography (you could tell by the way the two people were squishing away at each other), but then a startling thing happened: the MAN was faking an orgasm. Now, every male has spent a lifetime trying to figure out whether his female partner is genuinely throbbing in abject delight or, whether for love or money, merely pretending to do so. Come on, ladies, you've all done it at one time or other. Maybe your motive was charitable ("his ego would be soooo hurt"). Or maybe venal ("I REALLY want those shoes and the store closes in an hour"). Or maybe just exhaustion ("If HE had the kids all day he wouldn't have all this f--king energy"). Whatever, but with a female there is no physical evidence of the apparent eruption, only he said she said and a modicum of heaving and (occasionally) screaming.

On the other hand, a man in the same circumstance has no option but to be, as it were, genuine. All the moaning and groaning in the world cannot substitute for performance. We porn cognoscenti know that the REAL stuff (found behind the green curtain in any video place except Blockbuster) contains lengthy visual evidence of this fact. All men know that faking as they do on TMC is clearly impossible in real life and couldn't possibly induce the phony female reactions we are witnessing. It's a porn rip-off.

All this brings me to the current administration and Iraq. What?! you say. Patience, please.The analogy is actually almost perfect. First we went in with a heavy barrage of rocketry (remember "shock and awe"). This was clearly the loud moaning of foreplay. Then came the insertion of troops, very obviously penetration. Finally, the climax- Bush's declaration of victory. But wait a minute, the act has not ended in fulminating joy and triumph, but has continued unabated. Iraq is not impregnated with the seeds of Democracy, she is still heaving with unsatiated conflict. She cannot be fooled with a false climactic declaration of victory any more than viewers of TMC can be with a fake orgasm. Bad porn is very analogous to bad politics, neither leads to a satisfactory conclusion.

The real failure in Iraq , then, is the duplicitous nature of the Bush administration. When it came time for the climactic moment , he just didn't have the juice, so he faked it, and although it's taken some time, most of us have now figured him out. Where's Johnny Wadd when we really need him?

Later.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Jennifer said...

Perfect.

4:57 PM  
Anonymous blue girl said...

"Where's Johnny Wadd when we really need him?"

We had President Johnny Wadd in the 90s. And you know what? Worked out pretty good. Economy was good, he kept war to a minimum, etc.

I think the correlation you've made works perfectly.

Who's the next Johnny Wadd? None of them that *I* can see.

:)

4:21 AM  
Anonymous anita said...

"ahh, there is the rub, papa Bill .. can 'purient' and 'appropriate subject matter' be used in the same sentence? a serious contradiction in terms methinks."

the above is my response to your comment on my blog.

but, you do hit upon another of my favorite subjects. or rather, it's not a 'subject' that interests me, it's rather a condundrum of sorts.

i know for a fact that there are a number of really excellent writers and artists blogging in the 'sex blogosphere' ... and there, just as in the political or mainstream blogosphere, one has sort the wheat from the chaff and find those people who are worth taking your time to read.

but i do think the lines are, for the most part, clearly drawn between the two ... one is either either a mainstream blogger or a sex blogger ... and never the two shall meet ... (or, alternatively, one can have one's sex blog in the sex blogosphere and then have one's mainstream blog in the mainstream blogosphere.)

i did my own post that the Catholic girl in me felt was too 'purient' ... where i had a few links relative to the Story of O documentary ("The Writer of O") ... i felt i had crossed some kind of line, wasn't sure what it was ... i'm sure it was all in my head.

but anyway, i do hear ya. i think.

6:38 AM  
Anonymous FiFi Remulade said...

That was a marvelous piece of writing, dear - it could fly in a mainstream publication.

Thanks. ;)

7:12 PM  
Blogger Xris said...

This will never happen once The Sex Party wins the next election.

7:18 AM  

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