Location: Cheshire, Connecticut, United States

devilishly handsome, screamingly funny, overly modest

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


IT"S NOT MY FAULT! This mantra for the current American political regime, and possibly for the whole GenX, is my not so original substitute for "the dog ate my homework". It turns out that I can't download "quicktime" because my computer and it's software were purchased in the Stone Age (1999). I told my wife over a month ago that we needed a new computer, but for gender reasons we haven't bought one. I say "gender" for the following reason (see next paragraph) which also delineates why this predicament is NOT MY FAULT.

People like me (i.e- those of us with a y chromosome) have spent less than 6.5 minutes in our entire lives thinking about shopping, particularly COMPARISON shopping. If I want a new computer, I walk into a store, say Circuit City, tell the guy there what I want, and load it into my trunk.3 minutes,tops. If I had done that, my vblog homework would have been routine.

But noooo. I chose to consult my wife,(a person without a y) whose first reaction was "we should wait for the after-Thanksgiving sales". I could sense disaster looming. Her second reaction was "let me check with the girls at the office". (not a y among "em). This was followed by "research" (she could have cured cancer with all the work she put in).Finally, she went through 75 or so back issues of "Consumer Reports". None of this has led to anything approaching a purchase, only a multitude of questions (Apple or Microsoft? Laptop or PC?) I shoulda just bought the damn thing and came home with "Surprise, honey!". That's never worked before, however, and I might want to have sex again before I die.

This is not to say that women cannot buy on impulse. Shoes (except sneakers), skirts, ice cream, make-up, and sometimes cheese-its fall into the instant decision category. I strongly advise any male not to accompany a woman if she is buying (1)groceries with coupons, (2)any appliance but particularly refrigerators, (3)jewelry of any kind, (4)eye-glasses, and ,of course (5)computers. I watched a woman (of about 40) in CVS take 35 minutes trying to choose a pair of vanity glasses, I asked her if she were deciding on wrap-arounds to match her motorcycle, but I think she failed to see the humor. Sometimes people look at me very strangely. I should carry a camera.

Last night I saw my brother for the first time in 17 years. Went pretty well, I thought. That's a story for another time. Later


Blogger Brett said...

Sorry I missed you Bill. I was feeling kind of down and sick and all, so I took the night off. Lets have some coffee before class next time.

10:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Last night I saw my brother for the first time in 17 years. Went pretty well, I thought. That's a story for another time. Later


As the long lost (misplaced?) brother, I just want to ask when we get that story? ;-)

And, as the tech of this family, I'm very proud to see that you have learned how to crank up your old computer, do a blog, and join the 21st century!

Keep up the blogging and HAVE FUN!


12:22 PM  

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