Location: Cheshire, Connecticut, United States

devilishly handsome, screamingly funny, overly modest

Sunday, January 08, 2006


The Water in Glastonbury

I am assuming, since you are reading my blog, that you are a person of taste and intelligence. I also assume that you take a sceptical view of social generalizations and myths, such as "urban legends". This story may alter that view.

The narrative begins as Dave the Conservative (DC from here on) and I decided on Friday to explore our new work environs in Glastonbury for a lunch spot. DC is a good reference for this narrative because as a conservative his approach to life is far more literal than mine (although not more literary). He is definitvely NOT a myth adherent. As an aside, I should add that I have a few good friends who are political conservatives. They are not intrinsically bad people, it's just that, like our President, they've been given faulty intelligence leading to erroneous conclusions.

Anyway, we were referred to Wang's, a Chinese restaurant whose good reputation proved to be well-deserved. In the parking lot afterward, however, a string of bizarre events began that shook my faith in rational existence.

I would like to restate here my previous admission that I can be a very aggressive driver. To clarify, I am an aggressive OFFENSIVE driver, but an observant and somewhat careful DEFENSIVE driver. This is important to the narrative, and to my current and future survival.

As I backed out of my parking space at the restaurant, I noticed a small white sports car pulling out of a lower lot heading toward me. He had plenty of room, but something made me hit my brake. Although he could clearly see me, instead of slowing to avoid me he accelerated, leaving rubber and missing me by inches.DC jerked around and said, "What the hell was that?". I shrugged.

Seconds later, leaving the lot, I stopped to take a left (north) on Main Street. A white van roared past me heading south. As I pulled out , the van banged a screeching Uey behind me. He raced past me on my right (there was only one lane) narrowly missing my rear fender as he passed. Onward and upward.

The traffic slowed to a crawl, and a turn lane opened up on my left. Suddenly a white Ford pick-up came shooting up that left lane, passed a bunch of cars, and instead of turning barreled straight through the light and cut back into my lane, risking life and limb to gain a few spaces in line. At that point, DC said to me, "It must be something in the water".

One last incident. As I approached the left turn light signal to enter our building complex, it was turning amber but there was plenty of time to make the turn. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw coming toward me a white sedan, going too fast to stop. I once again slammed on my brake, and inevitably he sped through the (red) light. Both DC and I would have had no chance in the ensuing crash.

Now, I am not a believer in driving myths. I scoff at people who say women can't drive. When I lived out West I never believed, as my friends insisted, that Asians were dangerous behind the wheel. I even think that, against all statistics, most teens drive safely. But I'll tell you this, people, BEWARE WHITE CARS IN GLASTONBURY. You may laugh, but remember, they ignored Cassandra, too.



Anonymous colleen said...

It's a conspiracy!

Loved the descriptive line on conservative.

Thanks for the fun ride.

10:05 AM  
Anonymous blue girl said...

Hi Blither Bill, Coturnix dropped off a link to you on Lance Mannion's blog:

I've been reading your blog now for two hours! Just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy your writing and your sense of humor. I'm going to blogroll you so I don't miss a post!

Have a great day.

5:58 AM  

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