Location: Cheshire, Connecticut, United States

devilishly handsome, screamingly funny, overly modest

Monday, February 06, 2006

Navel Battles

I've just finished reading Colleen's blog on which there is pictured an enthusiastic young woman with her navel peeking out. I don't quite understand the latest fascination with the female midriff, so I'm going to give you my observations and then hope some of you can explain to me what I'm missing..

First of all, navels are funny looking, and to me sort of anti-erotic. Even assuming it resides in an area that doesn't unattractively bulge (which in America today is a large assumption with the average female dress size ranging between 12 and 14), the shape is at best an object of humor, not titillation. Poets have raved about the curve of a lip, a bosom, or a derriere (think of Jennifer Lopez...poetically please), but who I ask you has ever swooned at the swirl of a navel. The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders famously expose their navels, but there's not a red-blooded male alive who's staring at their tummies. When I look at new-style outfits with low-slung pants and high-cut tops, I'm looking at the edges not the middle (waiting for a drop or rise that unfortunately never comes- I keep on hoping, though).

Also, women's body parts that men look at tend to be functionally erotic (see last paragraph for examples). I haven't found a woman yet who has whispered in my ear, "Baby, drive me crazy, blow in my navel". A belly-button's practical use ends when we part from our mothers at birth, the exception being to bring gales of laughter from my grandkids by puffing on it to make a flatulent sound. This is what I'm thinking about looking at a woman's navel, hardly behind closed doors thoughts.

Maybe there's a whole world of navel fettishers that has somehow passed me by. If so, someone clue me in. If not, ladies, pull down your shirts, and expose something more interesting. It was so much more fun in the "burn your bra" era.



Anonymous colleen said...

When I see the midriff showing I worry that the girls will get cold! They bare it whether or not because it is the style, after all.

6:26 AM  
Anonymous blue girl said...


A couple of thoughts --

A really *in shape* tan tummy -- I think -- looks good with a little pierced ring in it. Not that I would ever do that! But, still, I think it's kind of sexy.

Come to think of it -- I might do it if I lived in South Beach. And was really in shape. And tan. And 22.

Although, like Colleen states above -- it is "the style" -- most girls can't pull it off.

I was at a Super Bowl party on Sunday. There were several 16 - 24 year old nieces there. Every one of them had on extreme hip huggers -- and although they weren't very chubaroo -- they were still just chubaroo enough so that their love handles were hanging over the sides.

Not attractive. At. All.

Maybe their goal is NOT to be attractive. Don't know.

10:02 AM  
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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ithink a girl with a nice stomach and waist and hips looks very sexy when she shows her navel

And especialy when she shakes her hips and wigles it.

Maybe someone will bring up that the original director Of the DCC thought the stomach was the sexiest part of a woman and designed the outfits accordingly

It seemed to work for Shania Twain, along with her other assets

10:44 PM  

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