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Location: Cheshire, Connecticut, United States

devilishly handsome, screamingly funny, overly modest

Friday, December 02, 2005

12-02-2005

Man, do I feel stupid. As every one of you already knew, the linking process is ridiculously easy to anyone but a technophobe such as myself. Once you conquer your fear of somehow breaking the equipment and actually making an attempt, everything just falls into place. This experience brought me a "deja vu" of the first time I had sex. I remember having that same feeling that I might break the equipment somehow(hers, mine,maybe...I don't know). In fact, that same parallel has held in my mind throughout this bloggong class.

The chief reason for this feeling is that I sometimes have the impression that I'm here, as I was then, under false pretenses. My debut into the world of sex was on a double date with my friend Jimmy Medlin, who was 2 years older than I (17-15). Naturally, I lied about my age by 3 years, which gave the false impression to my partner ( a relatively, to me, experienced 17 year old) that I was far more accomplished and sophisticated than I was in actuality. In the 1950's, nice girls "made out", but somewhere short of her "fate worse than death" would pant out the magic word "stop" and any seld-respecting young swain would, indeed, stop. On this night, however, cramped uncomfortably in Jimmy's back seat, I waited in vain for that magic word. As things progressed, I became more and more anxious that as I sailed into uncharted territory, my pathetic lack of experience would become glaringly evident, and that this sweet young thing would hold me up to ridicule forever. Fortunately for my sexual ego, and to my eternal gratitude, my kind partner took things in hand (figuratively, you dolts) and things progressed to what was apparently a very satisfactory conclusion (at least that's what she said).I hope wherever she is today all good things are happening.

Anyway, this "fish-out-of-water" syndrome, and the attendant fear of embarrassment, has echoed in my mind on many occasions during this blogging class. I do not belong to the computer generation. As I have related in class, there was no TV in my town until I was 9 years old. I look around me and realize that I need to study and learn many of the things that are second nature to my classmates. I feel like I'm in the back seat of that car so many years ago, with the people around me expecting me to have much more knowledge and/or experience, at least in the area of computers and the cyberworld, than I could possibly have amassed. It's reverse aging. The older you are less you know.

Brett,of course, will be very pleased to see that there are, and have been, areas where I am definitely NOT self-confident, although if asked I'd probably lie about that.

Later.

4 Comments:

Blogger coturnix said...

Hey, I am also a semi-Luddite and do not intuitively "grok" computers. I recently found two absolute gems online - step-by-step idiot guide to HTML code: Gem #1 and Gem #2. Bookmark them and check them out every now and then. In six months you will be a HTML guru everyone admires!

10:09 PM  
Blogger Brett said...

I don't think it's areas of your life that you are not self-confident in, it's more the way you carry yourself, which is completely self-confident even when you are helpless. I helped you with linking because of your intense demand to want to know. That makes all the difference. Does Bora realize that by using the term "grok" he is completely movign himself away from being a Luddite.

7:17 AM  
Blogger coturnix said...

Ah, I think I grok what you wanted to say! But I have read that book as a kid, long time ago, hardcopy, no electricity required.

I am a semi-Luddite, I guess. I try to figure out what I really need to learn, than go and learn it. Nothing more nothing less, i.e., I refuse to learn technical stuff that I have no real need for.

7:34 PM  
Blogger shante said...

I enjoy how the other two respectively ignored commenting your nostalgic tale of how you dropped the "v." What an inventive connection to our course!

9:17 PM  

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